I Got Tagged! : 8 Random Things

Kannu tagged me, I wish I read his blog earlier. Other than the world famous fact that you will never find me having a good hair day, here are some random stuff about me.

• Though I'm a self confessed chocoholic and everybody knows it, I'm secretively more addicted to coffee. If I dont have atleast a dose of strong filter coffee a day, I'll go insane. People say I make amazing hot cuppa. I also love food. Soon after my stomach forgives me for eating a roadside chaat, I'm back devouring something spicy and unhygienic.

• I'm a very lazy person. I totally dislike my profession but I dont do anything to switch careers. I just crib all the time. I love the flute but didnt continue my classes. I love to learn how to play the guitar, I have an expensive guitar which was left behind by my friend, there is a music class 10 feet away from home but I havent done anything about it.

• When I was in college I once tried bleaching my face for a friend's wedding. I put some bleach cream on few strands of my hair. I thought that would give me the hot chick streaked hair look. I only got weird looks from others and sound verbal thrashing from my mother, she threatened to disown me.

• I cant lie without getting caught. I make very funny faces when I'm lying.

• I cant be too straight or blunt when I talk to people. This causes great deal of agony when there are money matters.

• Hold your breath for this. I dont like shopping. It tires me. I dont like the idea of hopping stores and trying on things. My feet are too long. 99% of the footwear stores I visit will have a size less than mine as the largest size available. I have the worst footwear collection compared to all the people I know, including my maid.

• I have saved a life by talking my friend out of suicide. She was very upset over her breakup. She wouldnt have gone ahead anyway but I like to think that I once did a good deed.

• I'm sometimes paranoid that people are around me just to judge me. If some one just looks at me I imagine that person with a writing pad making notes about me. Surprizingly this has never made me change my ways.

This was fun! I tag Ranjani, Pooja & Rachana. I bet they will be more interesting.

What is India Shining?

An entire Dalit family is brutally abused and murdered by upper caste people from the same village. We say, "Bloody British, they made racists comments against Shilpa Shetty, that poor girl!"


Jobs from the US are outsourced to India, providing opportunities to the youth of Indian middle class society. We say, "These undeserving SC,ST,OBC people, they get reservations in educational institutions".

Kids from a minority community, playing inside a Hindu temple premises were physically abused & hot dal was thrown at their mothers by the Hindus. We say, " Wow! We Indians are so proud that NRIs have built beautiful Hindu temples in the US".

Oops!

Scene 1: A snap of a woman (older with gray hair) feeding some kind of a sweet to a girl. The girl is showing the snap & I say, "Awww... your granny is so full of love!". She says, "Thats my mother", with a blank expression on her face.

Scene 2: My colleague is showing me snaps of his kid. One snap has a woman holding the kid. I ask, "Your mother? " . He says "Actually thats my wife, we visited this temple...".

Scene 3: Me, "How can somebody agree to marry some person who she has met only once & hardly knows anything about him? I mean, come on! Doesn't she even worry that he can be a pervert or crazy or annoyingly possesive?" The girl I'm talking to had gotten engaged to this guy she met a day before her engagement through a marriage broker.

Scene 4: Me, "The last time he got drunk my uncle kept him out of the house whole night!", to my cousin's fiance who believed that he is a teetotaller.

I'm so totally nuts I say!

You Should Be Dancing...Yeah!

I was listening to this very interesting conversation between two people I know. I was sitting in the same room but had nothing to contribute. Person A was very excited about the recent trip to a city, how that person had partied every night & what "cool" places were visited. Person B was talking about his visit to a very exotic city, cruising around in luxury cars & partied at all the happening places. Both of them were competing to show the other two (in the room there was another hapless chap from the US who too might have thought its silly) what kind of party animals they are. After some hundreds of silly points thrown around both party animals decided that nobody knows how to live unless they party at the right places. They also concluded that nobody knows the true Bengalooru unless they have visited all the best Lounge bars & Dance Floors in the city. I am honoured to be in the worthless lot. The battle continued with none accepting that he/she was any less, I lost interest & wandered along my thoughts. I really wish some people grow up & see that a lifestyle is to entertain ourselves but life is not just that.

Why is it so?

Why do small cars have dark tinted windows, while big luxury cars have either no tints or very light tints? Are small car drivers ashamed of what they own & luxury car owners are very proud?

Movies That Killed My Apetite

I had made up my mind not to watch these two movies after seeing their trailers. They are all about flesh and blood bath, kind of movies that men simply love! But I couldn't avoid watching them. First, was Apocalypto. Full credits to Mr. Gibson for the amazing film making. I loved the fact that he made a movie in a jungle, with non main-stream actors, no romantic scenes or pounds of muscle, but still an amazing movie. I was dissapointed that there was no attempt made to show that the Mayans are considered such a great civlization because of their advanced written language, architecture, paintings and sophisticated maths and astronomics. But I guess Gibson didnt want to do the obvious and stick to his style. Every now and then flesh and blood would paint the screen. I closed my eyes for few of the gory scenes. For the whole duration I didnt crave for caramel flavoured popcorn like I always do. Except for few minor errors, like a full moon night immediately following a day that had solar eclipse and the pain of reading subtitles, the movie is superb. A movie I hate & love at the same time.

Then the very next week, I'm in the theater to watch 300. Again all the blood spilling, arm cutting & shouting made my stomach churn. This movie failed to impress me much, maybe coz it followed Apocalypto. Even though the gory scenes are not many, they were more disgusting. The boring first half & poorly edited ( maybe I should blame the distributors for the bad job) was a let down. All I enjoyed was watching the 6X300 washboard abs/triceps (whatever!) . At first I thought the actors have worn some artificial layer, but they have actually worked them out! That night I skipped my dinner.

I'm not doing a hattrick by watching Primeval. Please! I really need to watch some totally illogical romantic movie or an animated movie to wash it all off.

The Other Side of Auto Suri

"Jeevanahalli, Cox Town? Barolla!!" (I wont come to Jeevanahalli, Cox Town).
Thats the only line I remember from the auto suri song. Its all about about how lame but proud the auto rickshaw drivers are in Bangalore.
When you think about auto rickshaws a.k.a autos a.k.a rick, what do you first think of?
Thick smoke emitting from the exhaust?
Refusal to hire?
Weird phrases on the back of the vehicle?
Rash driving?
Excess fare?

After Friday's incident, I will remember this story everytime I travel in a rick. Just a reminder not to blow the driver's head off.
On Friday evening, I had to travel to my sister's place from my office. The distance is long, its "Friday", its evening and that area may not fetch much customers on the return journey. So, I get "refused" by around 20 auto drivers (No, I'm not making up that number). These drivers are very choosy. They wont just let anybody to hire their auto. Lot of factors influence his decision. The distance can be long but traffic should be less, the area where he will drop the customer must have enough customers waiting to hire him, he should not be stopped by too many signals or maybe he doesn't feel like it.
Then like God, one driver instantly agreed. He looked more than 60 so I thought maybe oldies are not so arrogant. In first 5 minutes of the journey, he had skipped a signal, drove in the wrong way & confessed he didnt know the way. I obliged to direct him, didnt want to lose my saviour to a fat traffic cop. Out of cuiosity I asked him,
"After driving for so many years, you dont know the way ?".
"I'm new, Madam".
"Oh ok".
"I used to work in a government office before & I retired. I thought after retirement I will enjoy my time at home. But..".
"What happened?".
"My only son is good for nothing, nobody else in the family is fit to work. This is the only way I can earn some money".
"Isn't it tough to start at this age?".
"It is! My back hurts all the time. My vision is poor and this traffic frustates me, I'm not used to driving at all".
"Thats terrible".
"What is more horrifying is that once I got mugged when I was returning home & I lost all the day's earnings. The auto owner didnt hear my plea & I had to repay him".
Silence.
"Please check your belongings Madam".
I give him little more than the fare, hoping he would keep the change but he prompty returned the change and smiled. He smiled! And then he drove away looking lost.

Another auto drives by which says on the back, " Trust a snake, but not a girl". Grrrr.

They Speak

Tantadaaa!!! I'm back! And finally here is a compilation of the best quotes from Managers that I have heard so far.

1. "Team, I'm sending you your feedbacks. Please send a reverse feedback on me". Meaning, Please send your feedback on me.

2."I didnt get the Architecture, can you please draw the cabbage diagram?" Meaning, Please draw the layered diagram to explain.

3."Thank you for your outstanding contributions". I have no better thing to say everytime I have a 1 on 1 discussion with you.

4."We have given you a hike on par with the Industry standards". Meaning, The industry can be anything, like cleaning cotton in old beddings.

5."When you are aware that certain problems need to be addressed, you need to take actions on them" Meaning, you made a mistake to complaint against the manager, now you take care of the problem, hahaa!

6."We have a challenge! We just missed the shuttle". Meaning, I read in some MBA book that I need to replace the word "problem" with "challenge" in order to inspire the team.

7."I will vacation tomorrow". And you will work!

8." Please schedule your test meaningfully". I'm lost for words here.

9." I know you weren't feeling well, but you cant apply for a sick leave between two holidays, it has to be Annual leave only. If you wanted to apply for sick leave you should have sent a mail the day before".

To: Manager
Subject: I will not be coming to office tomorrow. I may fall sick.

10."Thank you for your active participating and contributing".

What's The Big Deal?

Its just another day in another year, what is so special about it? Its the same old world, its the same old boring job, its the same people. After spending more than a grand to celebrate the last day of the year I wake up in the same bed, same maid ringing the door bell and everything around looked the same! Shame! I just couldnt find meaning to all the wishes that were pouring in. Many remembered me only after a whole year to drop in just an SMS. Every new year we are just growing old and there is no big deal! But wait there is something that is different. New year means another chance to start something new or change something that you always wanted to do. I took it this way and started off with my morning walks. What a bliss. And then started with whee bit of social work, of which I only used to deliver great talks but never did anything. So for me, new year is all about starting something new. And all that "partying on new year's eve is a must" no longer has any meaning.

Did You Know?

That women are considered to be bad drivers even though most of the accidents involving vehicles are caused by men behind the wheels.

The only sure way to build your immune system is to have office cafeteria food everyday.

There is no such thing as a stupid engineer. There can be only a stupid manager.

That the biggest addiction in the present world is not smoking, it is cellphone or mobile as we call it.

That the surest way of making a list of jobless people in a company is to take a look at the newsgroup.

That 90% of men lie about being a teetotaler and non-smoker before getting married.

That I wrote this lame post just to get back into blogging.

The Butterfly Effect

The movie, The Butterfly Effect, was one of the best movies I have ever watched. Completely swept by Ashton Kutcher's acting. Always watched his romantic and dumb guy roles till this one and it was a pleasant surprise. Now this movie got me on thinking, what is "The Butterfly Effect"?

Its used in explaining Chaos theory. The butterfly effect was first described by Edward Lorenz, a meteorologist. His quote: "Predictability: Does the Flap of a Butterfly's Wings in Brazil set off a Tornado in Texas?". The phrase refers to the idea that a butterfly's wings might lead to minute changes in the atmosphere that ultimately can cause a tornado! The flapping wing causes a chain of events leading to large-scale phenomena. Otherwise? The trajectory of the atmosphere may have been different.

So in that movie, a small incident in his adolescence changes his life completely, so he uses his mind power to go back and change that one incidence and it leads to nothing but mess. Now why am I talking about this? One little misapprehension of my effort in my project lead to a situation which could have stamped a black mark in my appraisal! If I hadn't been blunt and made it clear to the management, I would have lost ownership of my work. I was flying high that I bought a car, and I was pulled down to terra firma with a thud. But I carried myself well and by end of the day I got a pat on my back. Somebody remarked that no one can break my spirit.
phew! Its been a hell of a spin!

The world would be a better place...

if I just keep my big mouth shut!

Its been more than a month since I've put up a post! Been busy but not always, never got anything to write, until now.

After cooking for weeks everyday at home, I'm really frustated. I started it thinking it would be a good break from routine and fun to pass the time. But the cooking itself has become a routine. Everyday before leaving office I think, "what should I cook tonight?". Since I eat alone, there is nobody to give me their preference. I wake up in the morning and think, "So, what should I pack for lunch?" arrgghhh!! Yesterday while cooking my mom's recipe, I suddenly realized that my mother has been doing this for past three decades! I called her up and said "Amma, thank you for cooking us such delicious food everyday, never tiring. I acknowledge that its very tough to be a homemaker, I love you". She was so happy to hear this, I could hear her voice quiver. It feels nice if somebody reconizes the hard work you do, which was otherwise going un-noticed.

Nothing is Impossible

When my friend used to say, "Never say you won't do it, you don't know when you will change your mind or what situations might change the way you think", I always said "Impossible!". Yesterday I realised that he was right. I had stuck to eating food with no meat years ago and called myself "vegetarian by choice", never had I thought that even after feeling so strongly against non-vegetarian food, I would end up trying it. I was sitting next to the same friend at a restuarant, as he devoured a very delicious marinated seer fish, and believe me, I don't often see such a beautiful dish. Even before he offered a bite, I was drooling and the first time he just asked if I want to try, I was ready. But I stopped myself for sometime, still I had to try. The good girl in me begged me to stop, or was it my mental block or my conscience? But I REALLY wanted to try. So I took a teeny weeny bite of it and GOD! it was more yummy than the eggplant dish I was having. It always feels nice to do the forbidden, isn't it? Well, here the forbidden lines were drawn by me, so I could easily cross it. And to my surprise I didnt even puke. I don't know if I will muster enough courage to try again, but now I understand that one cannot think that doing something is impossible or say it can never happen, I wont do it, coz you'll never know what is going to happen in your life and what situations might arise that will change you.
Full credit for the above line goes to my friend who told this :)

Bangalore-Mysore Non-Stop

6 45 PM Sunday evening, Tanjavur express slowly screeches to a halt at the Bangalore station. Scores of people get down and try to make their way through the stairs or the subway. Among this crowd you can find a kind of people who have few common characteristics. They are young, tired and malnourished faces, dark circles, usually carrying a small backpack. They are usually very sharp in recognising species of their own kind. They are glad to meet buddies and school mates and they quickly ask each other the same set of questions. "So, where are you working?" "What platform?". And no, they are not talking about the station platform. This kind goes back to work on Monday morning, dragging their lethargic body and somehow manage to make it through the week. When its Friday and they all jump in glee and rush back to the same station in the evening. They beg their managers, lie, do anything to make it there in time for the 6 15 train. This smart species have come up with a brilliant plan to buy tickets and have a seating, no matter how large the crowd. For this they operate in a gang. This train is usually overflowing. One person stands in the long queue, bearing the stinch, the massive crowd, pulling and pushing and manages to buy tickets for the rest of the gang. Two or more directly enter the platform and alight the train and hold the seat. For about half an hour they endure numerous people coming and asking if the seats are taken and also argue with people who think this arrangement is wrong. Then with few calls and messages, they all are united just before the train leaves. They go home to enjoy one day of the weekend and again on Sunday the story repeats. This kind call themselves as Software Engineers, but not many have any idea of what they actually do.

This cute, cuddly, adorable little thing is a year old now :)

Why Not Me??

When something has really gone bad, when you are miserable, when life sucks, when life is so hopeless that hell can't be worse, you cry out "why me?!". Why haven't you ever thought "why not me?". Why should you think you don't deserve such an ill fate? When all humans deserve happiness then why dont we all deserve tragedy? When there is devastation in a different part of the country, you are relieved to say "Thank God, it didn't happen here", but somebody stuck in that same calamity will think, "why did this happen to me?". Why the tendancy to assume that nothing wrong can happen? Why compare to other person's life and think "why don't I have what she has?". Have you ever thought that she might be asking herself the same question?

Why can't the police tow your car among all the others which are in the no-parking zone? Why shouldn't you have a running nose on the day of a very big party? Why shouldn't your debit card stop working in an ATM when its an emergency? Why shouldn't your bike break down when you are late to office? Why shouldn't your friend pick you among all her other friends, to do her a favor which you hate to do? Why should most of the cricket matches be played on a Sunday?!
We all are of the same species, then how can you be special or God sent that nothing wrong can happen to you? And... why am I writing this post?

Every Day is a Winding Road

If Bangalore traffic never ceases to surprise you then the traffic police are not far behind. Of course, we can never doubt their ability to manage this crazy and ever growing traffic, but maybe they are not thinking clear or the pollution might have got them. If anybody wants to defend them, then think of the Richmond circle flyover. It is believed that it has a record of being probably the only manned flyover in the world. For people who are still thinking "why?", let me tell you that flyovers are not only built to avoid traffic congestion but also to reduce signals and help the police. And now, they go a step ahead and confuse all the commuters going past the centre of the city by reversing all the one ways. First day it felt like the traffic police is trying to play hide and seek. They hide the route to your destination and you go round and round and finally reach your destination or end up where you began. On top of that, the bus commuters now have to stand in the opposite direction of the bus shelter, while the shelter beams with all the glowing ads clearly visible, I guess the advertisers will be the only people who wont be complaining. I've never seen a single road being divided into two opposite one ways. A narrow one way is now open for vehicles in the other direction. If you are not careful, you might slam into a barricade, for which no effort has been taken to put warning signals of their presence. Now my favourite pass time is to find out the shortest path to home, or sit and think where I want to go and how do I reach there. So now I ask, is the Bangalore traffice police trying to test our intelligence or gloat theirs?

PS: If this has any resemblance to any of the "sunday" articles, then its purely co-incidental.

This was taken from a borrowed camera, on top of a hill in Kerala. I was actually focusing my colleagues in front of this pretty tree through which thick rays of sun were penetrating. But just before I clicked, a thin film of cloud passed through us, I immediately lifted the cam and captured this beautiful shot. You can also see my project mate trying to figure out why I changed my focus ;)

What Not to do in A Software Profession..

Your lab manager is hosting a talk (its more like a sermon) about the measure taken for employee satisfaction. You cutely put your hand up and tell him, "What about a lab offsite? Haven't had it for about a year" (For the uninitiated, offsite is a team outing). You lab manager will say "very good point!" and jot something down. You'll think he wrote about the offsite and who will be arranging this, but he will be writing down your name and the project you work for.

You wear a good pair of jeans and a t-shirt and you go to office , confident that you look cute, but eyes with raised eyebrows (and a dark circle underneath) will stare back at you. Taken the casual dress code too far? No, you have dressed decently but people will stare anyway.

You change your hair style..its a drastic change. You expect that people will comment but you can't believe that your manager said "trying to look young?". So either condition your colleagues for the shock treatment, like I did, or just dont risk it! someone told me "I wouldn't be surprised if you shave your head for the next time".

You finish your work in time. But if you leave early everyday, then you are considered as a non-hard worker. You were caught up in some other work, you were late and you reached office at noon, so its considered as a half day leave, no matter you slog till late night.

Its a sin to use messenger, though all your cubicle-mates are online too, all the time. Dont talk in your normal tone over the phone. You HAVE to whisper. People around are intelligent enough to guess by the ring of your desk-phone, if you got an intranet call or a call from outside. You are standing in the balcony, on a call, you mom is generously showering you with words of wisdom and at regular intervals you get scolded too. Obviously you are speechless. But anybody walking by will think you are on call with your boyfriend and lost in his words.

You will also be judged by the people you have lunch with, or occasionally have a cup of tea. If the person is of opposite sex, it doesnt matter if he/she is a friend from school, all it matters is, 'you had tea/lunch with a guy, alone!'

Dont even think of wearing a shoe which is not black or white. Red sneakers from Adidas is damn cute, but your colleagues wont think like that. If you are a girl, and you are wearing a belt which peeks from below your shirt, you think you look cool? Wrong! well I'm only talking about the office, remember?

Your team mate makes a remark about you, you get slightly mad at him, just for fun you lift your helmet and gesture you will hit him with it. Funny right? NO! Others who watched this, will be making a mental note of reporting this to HR.

And after reading through all this, you think, I dont care...I'm glad I have company.