He is Coming Down the Montain, Here He Comes...

The phone rings, My Mother picks up.
She: "Hello?... aha! oh! hmm... hmmm... hmmm.. oh! great!.. hold on a second"
Now she turns towards me, a hapless creature who is ruthlessly trapped in a crazy world of crazy people who think marriage is the final and only destination for a girl. Back to the conversation now.
She: "Hey! Your Grandpa's friend's friend's daughter's mother-in-law's nephew" phew! "is searching" read: hunting desperately "for a girl who is a software engineer" notice the qualification being stressed "soooo.... interested?"
Me: "Mom! but I dont want to marry, not in the near future, you know.." She stops me
She: "Look the boy" predator "is really well qualified and decent" and she learnt this in two minutes of introduction.
Me:"But mom!"
She: "No buts here!"
Me: "I'm not interested"
She: Now returning back to my grandpa's friend's friend "Leave your number with me, I'll call you back" she smiles as if he can see her and scribbles the number wrong, and my belief in God grew stronger.
She: "Look, you are not getting any younger, you will have to get married someday!"
Me: "Is that a rule?"
She: "Now don't talk like that!" never seen her blush so much
Me: Seeing no way out "Ok tell me what's he doing?"
She: Happier "He is working in Infosys"
Me: "As a?"
She : "Of course he will be working as a software engineer!"
Me: Roll my eyes "Not necessarily"
She : "He will be! can't you see?" see what? "he is looking for a qualified girl! and he is from *long name* family"
Me: out of curiosity "how tall is he?"
She: "5 feet 5 inches"
Me: "But mom, I'm 5,5!! I need a tall guy!"
She: "You dont wear high heeled shoes anyway.. so it will work out and besides he is going to US by January next year and he needs to marry before that"
Me: "What? how will I get to know him in such short time? and what will I do when he goes off in Jan, till I get my Visa should I sit at home n eat nuts?"
She: "Girls these days! make them economically independent and they forget their manners and culture and &%##$@ &*%%$# @#$$%^# ..."
Me: I change the TV channel to a local one "Mom, your serial has started"
She: "Oh! I missed the first 5 minutes! I wonder where that guy ran away with the child, it was so crucial!"
Me: "Mom.. he is still running" Geeesh! I slowly slip away. My dad, who was a mute specatator all this time, smiles. It was almost a Hi5.
Now over to next weekend and the drama continues..

It Took 1 to Change 287 Bulbs

I did the Landmark Forum, one of the programs offered by Landmark education, mainly out of curiosity. I wanted to know how it really works to thousands of people world wide and also wanted a miracle to happen. But that's what they teach, miracles dont happen. One has to create his own possiblity and then a miracle happens. Sorry! now I'm talking like them! For three full days and an evening session I got 14 hours of brain drain. They drill to maximum and you'll hate them. Not only do you reach home after midnight, you get assignments, like call people and make them think you've turned lunatic for waking them up from their sweet slumber, just to "complete" something with them and ask sorry for something they have no clue about! If you haven't experienced enough frustation and anger (and boredom), thats the place you ought to be. And whats more annoying is that they cant stop extolling about Landmark, and force you to take up the next level course. The breaks are after two and a half or three hours, so not advisable for people who cant control 'you know what I mean' for long. The breaks are just half hour long and they expect you to finish your visit to loo, the next door Chai shop and complete your assignments by calling people. If you are an irascible person like me, you will feel extremes of emotions.

Having said all that, let me get to its good part. They make you see how silly and stupid you've been coz you are making up stories in your head about your problems that are so minute and worthless to spend your time cribbing about. Also you get to complete a chapter of your life that was in the past but you keep living it everyday! At the end of it all, I was weary, irritated, emotionally vulnerable. The illusion in which I was living in, that nothing can go wrong in my life and everything I do is right, vanished. They dont change you. They wont even take away your problems and they dont make you Mahatma Gandhi. All they do is give you a new perspective towards life. They burst your bubble and slap you, make you stand up and take a look at your life.

I enjoyed watching people argue with the leader, just how people argue to prove that they are right. You get to see how unique is each one's problem. People walk up to the stage and put up a show. There was even a junior Meena Kumari (a Bollywood actress who cried buckets of tears). Some even claimed that they were transformed and felt ecstasy, some saw miracles happen and some were left dejected and disapointed. And they was one category in which I fall into, uncertain what happened, but left a little sattisfied. They tried their best to put all of us in advance course, but man! the course fee is too high and I wriggled my way out of it! There are still 10 seminars to attend, but I'm done with this. I did some research today (unfortunately?) on how the Landmark works and came across some shocking personal stories! check them out too.

Turn up, tune in, transform?
Reports, Articles and Personal Stories

Child Woman

My sister, now married and mother of a 7 month old baby girl, suddenly had the urge to go bowling. She and I were at our parents' home. She bluntly refused the company of my Brother-in-Law, and ordered me to come along. She wanted to bowl, just like old times! It came as a surprise to all of us, as she never leaves her baby behind wherever she goes and she had stopped having fun, two years ago. At the bowling alley she was bubbling with excitement as she lifted a light ball with the brightest color. It had been so long, the poor thing had forgotten how to hold one. Her first shot hardly touched few pins, but she came back grinning. I wanted to let her win, like we do with kids, but thought of giving her a good competition. At the end, I led the score with only a couple of points. I saw the widest smile on her face when she announced she wanted to play another game! I was tired coz I just recovered from viral fever, she was kind enough to let me go. She played the next game alone but was very distracted when she started to think about her baby she left back at home. I called my mom who was baby-sitting and assured my sister the baby is doing fine. After the second game, she called her husband and proudly announced her score. Later we played few games at the video games arcade and she won them. When we returned home, she was rejuvenated. Made me wonder why women forget to have fun when they settle into a family of their own.

I'm sorry for the word verification in my blog's comment window. Have got few weird things published as comments from unknown sources. I thank all the people who still care to comment.

Daddy's Little Princess?

Its been a long break from the blogger world. I didnt post anything new, neither did I read any. Now I'm back, and I feel refreshed!

Last week I was watching an episode of Oprah Winfrey Show. I like this show, and love the work her Angel Network does. The topic has been discussed before, talked, mourned and cried. But this time I learnt more. It was about fathers sexually molesting their own daughters! I feel very sad to know that such fathers do exist. First time I came to know about such crimes, I talked to my dad, and asked him how can any father do such a thing. He said these kind of stories are beyond his comprehension and can only be committed by men who are not normal. There was a teenage girl, narrating her story and cried continuously. I admired her courage to do such a thing in front of an audience and a camera. She was finding it so difficult to say her step father had done the same thing to her mentally challenged sister too. He tried to reason it by saying he was looking for acceptance and love. What crap!! But he confessed that such crimes are not committed because of sudden urge or lack of thinking, he said the crime is planned for months. The men actually first just try to get close to their daughters by fondling. On finding no resistance, they try more moves.

It was disgusting. Such crimes usually go unnoticed by the law cause the mothers refuse to go against their husbands! sometimes the girl keep this as a secret as she is afraid that her mother might choose her husband over the girl. I could see anger and comtempt in Oprah's eyes, a victim herself. Her words were bitter when she told the audience that the criminals, on found gulity are sentenced to therapy and just 5 or less number of years of imprisonment. Horrific to know that, as these crimes are worse than manslaughter. I was so glad to have a father whom I love and respect.

What Men Want...

One question I usually ask my guy friends is, what do they find attractive in a woman. This has always been a very interesting topic of discussion for me coz sometimes I get very surprising answers. Eyes, face, figure has been some of the common things listed but one thing that is common to almost 99% of the guys I have talked to, is long hair. I simply dont understand why! Long hair does add beauty to a girl but there are girls who look pretty in very short hair too. It just depends on the way they style and groom it, which I am really bad at. If good hair matters then I am one of the ugliest females living!

One answer was unique, the guy first observes the girl's arms. If they are in good shape then that makes the girl sexy.Very interesting. I never knew this before. But its not funny, its just his point of view. There is one guy I know who first sees the girl's nails. If they are well groomed and painted with rich colors she is found to be sexy. Now that is weird. Just nails makes someone attractive?

Then there is the dress and accessories that come into picture. I find it very funny that guys find girls in modern attire, with short skirts and jeans very appealing but once they have a girlfriend, she looks good only in a salwar kameez, so insist on wearing that. Why is that? I asked my friend and he had this to say - Girls look pretty in jeans but they look beautiful in salwar kameez. Really?!

Talking too much is a turn off. But if she is silent most of the times, the girl is considered to be dim-witted. Good smile kills, but if she smiles too much, she is a flirt. Lean girls are OK, voluptuous is better but fat girls are funny. She must be intelligent but shouldn't give smart advices. Hmmm, so are men epitome of perfection?

My first heart attack... well ok, a mild one.

Me:I had permed my hair few months ago. Now I got bored of it. Can u suggest something?
Beautician : Well, let me ask my girl to take a look at it.
girl: Her hair seems strong enough, I think she can go for it.
Beautician: Alright then, we will first condition your hair for the treatment, in the next sitting, I will treat your hair, then I will make it straight!
Me: Good! so will you be open on weekends?
Beautician: Only on Saturdays.
Me: Alright, I will call and take the appointment. So how much approximately will you charge me for this?
Beautician: Ammmm, see it depends on the length of you hair, since yours is little below the shoulder, it will cost you around 3000 to 3500 or 4 probably.
Me: uh.. ammm ..oh ... ah ... oh...kayyy...fine..ummm...I will call.. bbye.
I never called.

Excuse Me for not being a Snob

I walked into a designer store. Had bought a Ghagra long time back, just needed to get some alterations done. I was in my jeans, not so new tees, a bag on both my shoulders, sneakers which were a bit muddy and a helmet in one hand. The saleswoman gave me a surprise look. I put down the skirt and gave instructions. She was still not listening to me. She had already judged me even before I spoke. I had to repeat and talk firmly this time to grab her attention. She first denied its a creation from the store. How strange is that? Then she took a look at the dress and she was surprised at what she saw. She said "Yes, indeed its from our store!" It was hard for her to digest the fact that a girl like me could own such a dress. To my amazement she even asked me to whom this dress belongs to! I said bluntly " Does it matter? just tell me will you do it or not?" I was losing my temper by now coz the woman was still staring at me with a blank expression and wasnt speaking anything. Finally she agreed. Then I just left the store giving her my contact number. Before I walked out I turned back and asked "So, when can I come to collect MY dress?"
I really wonder who gives them the right to judge a customer with what he/she is wearing or how good they look. Isnt it their duty to just help the customer, without judging that person on weather he/she can buy or not? They forget that they cant even afford to buy the items!

Choco Delight II

I am proud of my new collection!My previous collection had dwindled too soon. And now I have a more beautiful one. I am so totally in love with this. I thank two of my nearest and dearest friends for making this possible.
Note: Each gram of chocolate is in mint condition for consumption. All bear a manufacturing date of a recent time. For people who feel this post is silly, dont bother to comment.

Pirates and the Little Monster

"Pirates Of The Carribean - The Curse Of The Black Pearl", recommended as the perfect movie for a couple to watch together, reason, men love adventure, women love Johny Depp. Its a nice, 'worth a watch once' movie. But Watching it with a 5 month old naughty, baby girl is a different experience. First time, I watched it with my parents, was forced to watch it again last sunday by my sister, who desperatley wanted to, coz she had to return the DVD to the library the following day. Since the movie has out of this world soundtrack, my niece was hooked onto the images flickering on the idiot box. My sister tried avoiding this by holding her in the opposite direction, which made the cutie so angry she started to yell and scream! Entire 2 and odd hours she screamed and cried. My sister put her on my lap as I wasnt very interested. She tried desperately to follow the dialogues, coz if you dont, you wont understand what's the whole deal about the adventure. She kept asking me what did this guy say, what did that girl say, hellooo...How am I supposed to remember the lines? Its not a bollywood superstar delivering them! All this time my niece is trying to be a trapeze artist slipping frm my arms. My sis fed her, tried to keep her quiet, but all in vain! By the end of the movie, which my sister would have wished all the characters die and go to hell, as she was dead tired, we lay there on the couches, exhausted, TV on and the little monster giggling.

Desperate Measures

Few days back I was having dinner alone at a small eating joint closeby to my house. Though my mouth ulcers were screaming with pain I was slurping away rice and hot rasam. Just then a man walked in and sat in a table next to mine. His personality was that of a businessman. He started to stare. At first I was uncomfortable for a while, then I ignored him and continued to enjoy my Thali. He took out his cell phone and dialled. I doubt that he was talking to anybody at all. He started talking to some "SIR" in Hindi. Excerpts from the "conversation":

"Why dont you stay at my place? Its a big home! You dont have to spend so much on hotel bills sir"
"Oh common! Mine is a 3 bedroom house and you know I dont have a wife! I dont even have a girlfriend" Ok now he is giving details.
"Hey! Its in Koramangala, very close to Forum, I watch movies every weekend" long pause...stare..."alone" shucks!! this is too much!
"No no, you dont need to book a taxi, You can use my Ikon, cause I often use my Octavia....hey I sold my accent and planning to buy any new model" yeah, what about your Ferrari?!
"Business is doing so good! Just now I decided to export!" To timbuktu?
All this time I am trying not to listen but he is screaming at top of his voice. The rest of the crowd too was looking at this guy, some even stopped eating.
"What will I do with my MBA degree? First class is of no use" Then he yelled out his percentage which I dont remember.
The waiter approaches, he asks about the items available. Then the guy has a problem with everything, "oh! thats oily" "oh! I cant eat so much" "No way!It wont be good to eat" "Sir, I always avoid such cheap places, but today I am in a hurry" " Glass is not clean, water is not completely clear" If only I could shout GET A LIFE!!
I just couldnt take it anymore. I quickly finished my dinner, payed and I left uttering something in hindi which meant "people can fall to any level to get noticed" I dont remember what exactly I said, but I hope I was grammatically correct. I believe he heard me, coz his conversation with the SIR ended abruptly.

My mobile phone is a very loyal friend of mine, though I sometimes consider it as a nuisance. A kind of a friend you cant live with nor can you live without. I might be way too careless in handling this thing and I have dropped it numerous times. Call me butterfingers but it just slips from my palm! Its a sleek and small handset and lots of times when I have tried to grab it in a hurry or just pick it up casually, I have manhandled it. It withstood the torture for months with minor scratches but two weeks ago, the umpteenth time, it said enough is enough and went on a strike. It just refused to ring and alert me when I get a call or a message. Since it was still under warranty, I thought of getting it repaired using it. I know warranty does not cover such accidents but just wanted to give it a shot. But the repair kept on postponing, I needed my phone to be with me all the time, as I was expecting important calls. Few days later I was trying on a PEPE JEANS which was on sale ( I dont recommend to even to take a look at this sale) and my phone slipped from my trouser's pocket and fell down hard. I was glad it was still in one piece. Few minutes later my sister called me and it rang!! I couldnt believe it! I was laughing like a mad person while other shoppers and my friends watched in bewilderment. This reminded me of Bollywood movies where a person, who loses his memory after a bump on his head, gets it back after another.

Me Tagged Too..

I have been book tagged, not a good idea to tag me coz I am not a voracious reader. I dont know how this works. Do we get the freedom to choose our questions too? Well I'll do this the way I want to.

Number of books owned: I have no idea, and I am lazy to count. Probably around 10 novels, lots of technical books, I just had this stupid notion that owning them would give me an intelligent flair, around 50 comic books. About 30 borrowed.
Book I love to read regularly: Reader's Digest [ok, its a magazine]
Favourite book: Calvin and Hobbes, The days are just packed [Thanks again for the person who gifted this ]
Current read: Fountainhead by Ayn Rand [when will I finish this!!]
Best read: The Good Earth by Pearl S Buck, Kane and Abel by Jeffery Archer.
Worst read: Abduction by Robin Cook [I will never read his books again]
Book I will never finish : The Monk Who Sold His Ferrari [ sorry pal, this was your only bad suggestion ]
Book I almost died to finish reading: Angels And Deamons by Dan Brown [ everything is exaggerated ]
Book I enjoyed reading every page: 5 Point Someone by Chetan Bhagat [ though I doubt its his story in IIT ]
Book that I bought long ago but is still good as new: Data Structures in C and C++ by Tenenbaum [sorry if there is a spell mistake in the name]
Best possession : Gone With The Wind by Margaret Mitchell
Best movie inspired from a book: Gone With The Wind, again
Books I have avoided: The entire Mills and Boons series [Yes, I am still a Piscean]
Book that I treasure the most: My college note book in which all my friends drew pictures and signed them.
Favorite comic books: Calvin and Hobbes, Archies comics, Asterix, Chandamama [I dont know if this book is still in circulation]
Okay I am done here, have to get back to work. It is killing me!

Oh wait...I tag these people

Cinnamon
Sattu
Sanju
Pooja
Krish

Have You Ever...?

Let your hair loose and let it fly in the cool breeze, and smiled when
the strands hit your face
Waved to a stranger's kid and watch it wave back to you and giggle
Ate ice cream as soon as you were out of the bed
Danced in the rain and smiled back at the people who were watching you in amusement
Gone home after a long time and parents hugged and kissed and said how much they missed you
Held a naked baby in your arms and watched it fall asleep
Trusted your friend so deep that you believe every word the person says
Watched the moonless night sky when the entire town had a blackout
Imagined your favorite song being played in your head over and over again
Came home cold and tired and someone offered you a hot mug of coffee
Watched a full moon rising like a big orange candy
Made someone laugh and just sat looking at the person's pretty laughter
While cleaning up the wardrobe, you found your 6th grade class photo and your first crush smiles back at you
Visited your old school and stood in the playground and imagined your school days and the dreams you had
Tried flying a kite on your office terrace and not be embarrassed that your attempts are failing
Thought about a long lost friend the whole day and the very next day she drops a mail in your inbox

Closure

The teacher pulled up his fat glasses over his broad nose and called out her name, and he made it sound so sweet.The girl with plump cheeks and fair skin stood up and as she walked she smirked and looked at me, but just for two seconds as she moved on and faked a surprise look, though she was sure she stood first in the class. She was the favorite, she was the sweet-heart and she was popular. I never craved to be like her, I was happy and content, but
it was she who always compared herself to me, maybe she was insecure. She would work hard to score higher, she would do anything to please the instructor to get the lead role in the dance performance. I just gave her competition and watched in amusement.Yes, I was evil, but didnt mean to be malevolent. Her attempt to make me feel inferior and her failure to do so, amused me even more. She is related to me [ and no, I dont want to trace the family tree] and was considered better than me by grannies, aunties and mamas. It was a blessing in disguise for me, cause there were no expectations from me. After school we went our seperate ways. She struggled to finish her graduation, while I maintained my average scores, graduated and got a decent job. One of these best days of my life I met her, recently. She is now lean and looked tired. She is married to a man born more than a decade before us, who was chosen by her parents. She asked what am I doing these days. The smirk was now just a lazy smile.I didnt gratify my evil self, instead shook her hand, gave her warm wishes, tasted the ice cream she offered and left after the exchange of goodbyes. I think we both closed this chapter.

I Am Watching You

I have always felt sorry for celebrities and people who are in news cause they are constantly watched and every action of theirs is scrutinized to minute detail. But now I can empathise with them. Not that I am popular but I am being watched and monitored all the time. It might be the consequence of knowing lot of people, maybe my life seems interesting for some or maybe because of this blog. Yes, I have left lot of personal information in this blog before, but my intention was only to write what I feel like. I am trying to curb that practice, thanks to few near and dear ones. Now I'll have to think twice before writing a post here or hang out with a friend. I have to guard my cell phone all the time cause anytime it can go into someone's hand and in an instance its menu->messages->inbox!! and a loud "aahh!!" followed by "who is this? " and a tussle as I try to grab it back. My parents are no less too. My open minded and liberal mom has changed completely, thanks to so called "concerned" aunt. Now not only do I have to report my status to my manager, every night I report where I am, whom I'm with, to my mom. In office, there are curious eyes watching what I do, even as I type this. I used to lose my temper on my friend who used to ask me very personal questions. Every person has the right to his/her personal space where no one can intrude, not even their life partners, but I guess the term 'privacy' is losing its meaning.

Musings

I see a rickshaw emitting a thick exhaust smoke, flaunting a sign "Dont Pollute the Air" yeah, like saying "leave that work to me". Jerk!This is heights of absurdity!and I think of these..

Height of rip off: 8 candies in Sweet World at Forum cost 68 rupees!
Height of torturing employees: More than 2 meetings per day. Even worse, scheduling a meeting to discuss what to be discussed in the next meeting.
Height of irritation: When 3 people come into my cubicle, and chat aloud with another team mate, in a language that cant be understood.
Height of absent-mindedness: My Brother-in-Law walks past me, looks at me, but I failed to even recognise him!
Height of stupidity: Wearing my favorite white dress even if aware that its going to rain that evening.
Height of Laziness: So lazy to cook even if hungry, that I rather eat an apple and go to bed.
Height of happiness: could I be anymore happier than what I am now?
Height of mixed feelings: Mrs.Indira giving me a big bar of chocolate.
Height of smartness: Caught daydreaming in a meeting yet again, but this time I said "I was pondering over the points you put forth,I think..blah blah"
Height of expectation: Expecting a treat from this friend of mine.
Height of gluttony: Ate so much of home cooked food, another bite would have ripped my stomach apart.
Height of addiction: One whole day without chocolate made me depressed enough to kill myself.

Daydreaming Again

I have always been a daydreamer. Yes, while sitting,standing,talking, any time of the day I start dreaming or just think something else and I get so engrossed that I completely forget whats around me. And these are not any princess dreams, but just recollecting what happened before or thinking about what might happen if I do such and such a thing. But tuesday's experience left me embrassed and the rest amused. In the status meeting, there was a discussion on some technical issue which wasn't related to my project and wasn't interesting. And me, well I was wondering will I ever make it as a good manager. Will the employees listen to me? Having a bad temper, what if I punched people who didnt listen?! Then my attention shifted to a tree I could see through the window, wondering how old the tree might be, what if I lived that long and I had to stand in the same place for life!! And then my manager called my name. Before I could realize what was happening he shot a question at me, "what is your opinion on this? ".I shook my head and said I agree with T. Everyone looked at me in bewilderment. Then my manager calmly said "T has not given his opinion yet". All I had left to say was sorry and looked at the slide on the projected screen, commented something stupid and continued taking minutes. The end of the day, I had the most embrassing moment in recent times.

Our Place

Finally I found a place to hangout, my favourite place in Bangalore! I have one in my home town where I always love to spend time with my friends or my sister and the pizzas are delicious. I only order one variety of dessert each time and the guy knows it even before I order it. And there is this big board where we can write anything under the sun. Now in this city, I am home again. I love this place. It has a little playground in front and cute kids come here to play.The chuckles and giggles on the swing, their attempts to not fall at the end of the slide, the happy faces on the merry-go-round...its heaven. I love watching the babies lick ice creams. And while I sat on the swing, for hours having a nice conversation, I fell in love.
I will not reveal the name and location. Its just named "our place".

Hmm...

The need to have something, so bad that you hope, cry and pray every night. You keep waiting for it, anxious every time you think about it. You are desperate but cant do anything about it. You start living with the fact its not happening but still wishing. And, out of the blue, when you have given up, its there, right in front of your face and you realise that, you have moved on.