They Speak

Tantadaaa!!! I'm back! And finally here is a compilation of the best quotes from Managers that I have heard so far.

1. "Team, I'm sending you your feedbacks. Please send a reverse feedback on me". Meaning, Please send your feedback on me.

2."I didnt get the Architecture, can you please draw the cabbage diagram?" Meaning, Please draw the layered diagram to explain.

3."Thank you for your outstanding contributions". I have no better thing to say everytime I have a 1 on 1 discussion with you.

4."We have given you a hike on par with the Industry standards". Meaning, The industry can be anything, like cleaning cotton in old beddings.

5."When you are aware that certain problems need to be addressed, you need to take actions on them" Meaning, you made a mistake to complaint against the manager, now you take care of the problem, hahaa!

6."We have a challenge! We just missed the shuttle". Meaning, I read in some MBA book that I need to replace the word "problem" with "challenge" in order to inspire the team.

7."I will vacation tomorrow". And you will work!

8." Please schedule your test meaningfully". I'm lost for words here.

9." I know you weren't feeling well, but you cant apply for a sick leave between two holidays, it has to be Annual leave only. If you wanted to apply for sick leave you should have sent a mail the day before".

To: Manager
Subject: I will not be coming to office tomorrow. I may fall sick.

10."Thank you for your active participating and contributing".