What Not to do in A Software Profession..

Your lab manager is hosting a talk (its more like a sermon) about the measure taken for employee satisfaction. You cutely put your hand up and tell him, "What about a lab offsite? Haven't had it for about a year" (For the uninitiated, offsite is a team outing). You lab manager will say "very good point!" and jot something down. You'll think he wrote about the offsite and who will be arranging this, but he will be writing down your name and the project you work for.

You wear a good pair of jeans and a t-shirt and you go to office , confident that you look cute, but eyes with raised eyebrows (and a dark circle underneath) will stare back at you. Taken the casual dress code too far? No, you have dressed decently but people will stare anyway.

You change your hair style..its a drastic change. You expect that people will comment but you can't believe that your manager said "trying to look young?". So either condition your colleagues for the shock treatment, like I did, or just dont risk it! someone told me "I wouldn't be surprised if you shave your head for the next time".

You finish your work in time. But if you leave early everyday, then you are considered as a non-hard worker. You were caught up in some other work, you were late and you reached office at noon, so its considered as a half day leave, no matter you slog till late night.

Its a sin to use messenger, though all your cubicle-mates are online too, all the time. Dont talk in your normal tone over the phone. You HAVE to whisper. People around are intelligent enough to guess by the ring of your desk-phone, if you got an intranet call or a call from outside. You are standing in the balcony, on a call, you mom is generously showering you with words of wisdom and at regular intervals you get scolded too. Obviously you are speechless. But anybody walking by will think you are on call with your boyfriend and lost in his words.

You will also be judged by the people you have lunch with, or occasionally have a cup of tea. If the person is of opposite sex, it doesnt matter if he/she is a friend from school, all it matters is, 'you had tea/lunch with a guy, alone!'

Dont even think of wearing a shoe which is not black or white. Red sneakers from Adidas is damn cute, but your colleagues wont think like that. If you are a girl, and you are wearing a belt which peeks from below your shirt, you think you look cool? Wrong! well I'm only talking about the office, remember?

Your team mate makes a remark about you, you get slightly mad at him, just for fun you lift your helmet and gesture you will hit him with it. Funny right? NO! Others who watched this, will be making a mental note of reporting this to HR.

And after reading through all this, you think, I dont care...I'm glad I have company.