Our Place

Finally I found a place to hangout, my favourite place in Bangalore! I have one in my home town where I always love to spend time with my friends or my sister and the pizzas are delicious. I only order one variety of dessert each time and the guy knows it even before I order it. And there is this big board where we can write anything under the sun. Now in this city, I am home again. I love this place. It has a little playground in front and cute kids come here to play.The chuckles and giggles on the swing, their attempts to not fall at the end of the slide, the happy faces on the merry-go-round...its heaven. I love watching the babies lick ice creams. And while I sat on the swing, for hours having a nice conversation, I fell in love.
I will not reveal the name and location. Its just named "our place".

Hmm...

The need to have something, so bad that you hope, cry and pray every night. You keep waiting for it, anxious every time you think about it. You are desperate but cant do anything about it. You start living with the fact its not happening but still wishing. And, out of the blue, when you have given up, its there, right in front of your face and you realise that, you have moved on.

Conversation Overheard

She sits in the scorching heat, using her hand to shield the glaring sun to look away. He stands there looking at her with vehement emotions and
says "I have never been so serious in my life, I love you, and I want this to work out".
She says "I need something to drink".
He says "Diet coke?".
She nods.

I Will

I left office yesterday evening and instead of walking back to my appartment I just kept on walking for about an hour and made a mental note of few dos and donts and things I ought to remember all time. What better way then put them in my personal space!

The list:
- I will cut down my caffeine intake to half.
- I will stop biting my finger nails.
- I am going to start my morning walk again.
- I will ask someone to get lost from my life for good.
- I will not let my team mates treat me like just another pretty face with no brains.They better start recognising my contribution. Have already taken the first step.
- I must ask him where are we heading in this relationship.
- I will control my temper, try to think once before making a rude remark.
- I will learn to say NO and I'm not going to tolerate any non-sense.
- I will not kill Mrs.Indira, but I will find a new place to live.
- I hate to work as a software engineer, and I wont hide the fact anymore, but I will do my job earnestly.
- I am not fat. And people who think I am can just go to hell.
- I am not going to exhibit myself in front of losers, so that they offer me a marriage proposal.I wont get my snaps taken too.
- I am loved by so many people, I will never complain that my life sucks.
- I wont pretend anymore I like Chinese food.
- I aint stopping doing things that make me happy and will do everything my way.
- I will take up the course that I've been planning to do for years.
- I wont think about the past nor will I plan my future.
- I will not give up chocolates, no matter what my friends, family or my doctor say.

And it rained again while I walked back :)

She..

She is a good girl, introvert and shy. Never had close friends since childhood, her only solace was in her little sister who she loves like her own child. She found a best friend in her and would do anything to see the younger sibling happy. Been ridiculed by kids in school, scars still remain. She found comfort in her mother's unconditional love. Being the first born, the young shoulders bore heavy responsibilties. She matured well ahead of her age. She begs to be indifferent to fashion but she does enough justice to her aristocratic looks. She grew to be cute damsel, with butter skin and sweetest smile. She looked at the world with her big black innocent eyes. A prince cought her eye and she fell in love. For years he gifted her dreams and she lived in a beautiful bubble which burst and broke her down. She still lives with the old scars but has a strong will to live through all that she has endured. There is another man in her life now, but she isnt loved the way she deserves to be. He doesnt know how precious she is to her family. She cries silent tears and says her newborn is her world now and has no time to think of anything else. She screams and cries for vengeance, few minutes slip by and she is ready to forgive. She has love in abundance but her man doesnt care enough.Its a shame that the world doesnt appreciate a beautiful human being like her. Wish she could be more like me, give back what you get, but then deep inside, I long to be like her.

Being Single

I read a very interesting article in Deccan Herald's Living supplement. It was an article about single men and women. Not only did it have stories about single youth but also about people who are living for years, all alone. There was one interesting line that a doctor said. She said "when you are living alone, you cant afford to fall ill". She was speaking for me. This whole week I was ill, still am, which explains my dry days in this blog, and also that my blogshares have dropped 1000 points!! Coming back to the point, I took leave for a day and a half. I couldnt sit in the AC room for long and felt very tired. But when I was in my room, I was bored to the maximum. With just a radio and a novel, fiction has never been my favorite, I was looking for things to pass time. Called few friends of mine. But got lot of time to think about what I plan to do, how to manage relationships, how to say NO in the most polite way. Maybe that should be my next buy, a book on 'Learn how to say NO'. Why am I wandering from what I am supposed to write?!

Well, the fact is, no matter how much we singles enjoy the freedom of being our own boss, doing things on our terms and no one to share the bathrooms! Had to mention that, there is the inevitable loneliness. Never felt so alone before. Now I'm sick, and have nobody to take care of me, well not entirely true, a very sweet friend is helping me in all the possible ways he can. The downpart is washing and cleaning even though I'm tired and my whole body aches, preparing my own meal (really missed my family this week. Gosh! I used to be so pampered when I fell ill).

But its a very good experience to live alone. I got plenty of time to spend with myself and learn lot of things which I wouldnt have known otherwise. But there are occasional raised eyebrows, questions about why a young girl is still single and doubts about the orientation which I have to deal with.

Once In a Lifetime

The date! Its supposed to be historical. 05/05/05 comes once in a lifetime. My mailbox is being flooded with many of these crap mails. I dont think its a big deal though..hmm..So what are the things that comes *only* once in a lifetime for everybody?

First love ( ah! I know that is very first thing any one would say)
First kiss ( I mean the first of all first ones )
Losing virginity
First performance
Marriage, for some
Childhood (Wish I never grew up, maybe I havent! )
High School (The best days of my life)
First pay (Oh! how I loved it when I spent it all )
The chance to let someone you love, know how you feel.


I cant think of any more right now. I'm just too happy and pre-occupied!
And it rained yesterday, exactly the time I left office. The heavens poured on
me as I walked and I did a little jiggy dance, which few people at Java City
watched. But who cares!